Friday, August 10, 2007

Unconditional LOVE

Sometimes I think when everything is with a purpose and preconditioned….how come Unconditional love? It hunted me and my mind for quite a long time. The objective of this writing is to pen down what I feel and to gather what you feel about this.

Generally we pour all kinds of unnecessary meanings into the unconditional love’s bucket, like; I must like everything and everybody, I need to accept all behaviors and take non sense from others because we are one etc. As per me unconditional love means you do not put conditions on loving that suit your lower self. The feeling of loving doesn’t change, it is constant but within it you can still say goodbye to a boy(girl)friend that you may not like to be with anymore. But still you don’t stop loving him \ her but you may stop seeing him \ her. Am I confusing…may be…

With the above idea one new idea comes - the idea of finding love and that the “love” is supposed to come from a place of other, rather than an internal union. This triggers a deep inner loneliness within. One thinks, “What if I never find someone to connect with really and truly and deeply but myself?” The other part replies: “Good. Then you will feel fulfilled always and it will not matter.” That 1st part retorts: “But what will others think? Won’t I appear as different or weird? Some says keep loving. But our little self says: “Will anyone care (including my own self)?”

Then we have to realize that is an example of conditional love. If nobody cares or acknowledges it what is the point of loving? Does the tree stop creating shade because no one cares? Does the flower stop spreading its fragrance because nobody acknowledges it? What the flower can do, so can you, as you are the jewel in the heart of the lotus.

Lets think about a girl who had a boyfriend in the past and now they are separated (don’t think much about the various reasons that does not come into the scope of this….think simple), she hates him now……Why it happens? As per me the fact is we are all home for each other. The hatred the girl feel towards him comes from the knowledge that he is holding the drugs she is addicted to. When he doesn’t give it to her at all or in the way she would like, he becomes an enemy as from hers subconscious point of view he is there to serve the girl. (I hope I am confusing you…..the fact is I am unable to explain….do excuse)

Try to remember the situation when you go to a store you buy what you need or think you need. We enter a store with the hope to find what we need and if we don’t we leave with a sense of disappointment. This is exactly how we enter a relationship - as if it were a giant store where you can find anything you need.

It is interesting to observe how when we go out to find our lover/partner we all hold an invisible shopping list that our potential lover should provide as though he/she were a walking shopping center.

The shopping list:

He \ she needs to be –

Attractive but only to us and not for others….(don’t you think so?)
Funny, as well as serious (how come?)
Deep yet light (isn’t it?)
Close to us but give us space when we need it (aren’t we stupid?)
Confident but gentle (think how one can be?)
Very passionate but only to us (are we the master of his \ her mind?)
Very loyal but not too jealous (too much…..)

And most importantly, he or she must be crazy about us although we ourselves need not have any of the above qualities.

The difference is that in the store of conditional love the currency for purchasing is your freedom.

If you NEED to be fulfilled by others you sell your freedom for this ‘fulfillment’. You will either always be frustrated as your expectations are not fulfilled or if they are fulfilled, you will be afraid that it may be taken away from you.

If people with awareness, like you, would channel the energy they use to find the one that will “fix” them, into unraveling who they are as essence, beyond the primal needs and desires, love wouldn’t be so painful.

Am I wrong as usual?

Am I thinking totally out of the blue? I hope you can help me out.....

Do help by posting your comments....



Anonymous said...

I totally agree with your points


Saktishree said...

@ Deepa...

Thanks Mam

tony said...

To have a long-lasting un-conditional love between two persons, there should be some inter-dependability. You should have something essential to the other person which nobody else can fulfill. Your heart and brain are interdependent because one will not survive without the other. They will never cheat each other, or do anything to harm the other, because indirectly they will be cheating themselves. In a ship nobody cheats another, because they depend on each other. When all people of the world realise that they depend on each other, there will be un-conditional love between all of them.

smaranika priyadarshini said...

Love usually refers to an experience one person feels for another.
Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing.
Love as a general expression of positive sentiment is commonly contrasted with hate, as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is sometimes contrasted with friendship, although the word love is often applied to close friendships.
Love has neither limited nor carries any condition...