Say him 'I Love You' for me

Background: There are lots of people in our life whom we take as granted and never say how grateful we are having them around. It’s the story of a lady, Meenu, who after spending almost 50 years in the bond of marriage has not spoken what she wanted to say to her husband. May this endeavor fulfill her wish. 

When I first saw you, I have already become your wife. You asked me, “Are you happy?” Without thinking my head nodded in yes. I don’t know why. I told, “I have agreed in this proposal, no one has ever forced me to do so”. You smiled and said, “No girl agrees to marry a boy in our society, they agree to their parents’ choice. You have not seen me earlier”. I got stunned with your reply. It’s true; I had not seen you before but the dream. I had listened my father describing you behind the door. I painted you in my dream. And you are no different. I wanted to say all…but I could not. 

Our first night after marriage. Knowingly I slept early. I wanted to see what you will do. You came in silent steps. You saw me sleeping. Smiled and put the blanket on me and slept aside. I wanted to say, I have not slept but could not. How come you are as you are? I fell in love with you.

My parents passed away in an accident. My brother, Bapu, was left alone. Before I could think what will happen to him, you presented him before me and said, “Meenu, Bapu is going to stay with us.” I closed my eyes to hide the tears, and when wanted to say something, you have already left for office. 

I was pregnant. You took one month leave to take good care of me. I doubt, it would have been difficult for my mother to compete with you in this. You prayed when I joined my hands, you lied when I wanted to escape; you bowed before God when I cried in labor room. When you entered to the room after delivery, I wished you to see the twins, but you asked me, “How are you feeling?” I wanted to say, Love you, but by that time you were playing with our babies. 

My kidney and heart developed some problem. You took me to AIIMS. You sold all the land in village and the only plot in Bhubaneswar for me. You became thin in my pain. You came to my bed in the hospital. You held my hand and said, “Don’t worry Meenu, if nothing can be done here, I have planned to take you to America.” I wanted to shout, “No, why you are spending all for me, think about our kids”. But you put the blanket on me and told, “Sleep for some time”.

I got well in AIIMS only. On the way to Bhubaneswar, Bapu told me about the selling of village land and Bhubaneswar plot in dead cheap rate. I don’t know why, but for the first time I prepared myself to say you something. I said, “I am Sorry”. I wish I hadn’t. I wished I had one more chance to say what really mattered. To say how much I loved you. How grateful I was for every moment I was with you. I wanted to say love for me is snuggling up to you, just like a little girl does with someone she knows without fear, smell for me is your perfume, which I could smell three floors apart, touch for me is when you pressed my cheek and I would pass out into deep slumber, religion for me is your way of living, and above all, happiness to me is a picture of yours. But by the time I knew how to say what I wanted to, it was too late. You have already slept in the upper berth.

Yesterday, they came to see my grand daughter, Neethu, for marriage. I was not there due to illness. Neethu came in the evening as usual. She is less a grand daughter but more a friend. I asked to tease her, “Neethu, whom are you going to marry? Is there anyone in your mind? Tell me, I can arrange and will tell my son.” She smiled and told, “Don’t worry about me, Grandma, I have already selected one and told him ‘I love you, ok”. With sheer anxiety I asked, “Who?” Without a hitch she replied, “Grandpa”. She got up and shouted, “Grandpa, I love you”. A thin voice echoed from downstairs, “Love you darling”. 

I am stunned now. I am laughing on myself and on my fear of getting out from myself. I am feeling proud for my Neethu’s flawless courage, feeling jealous too. Can I tell him as Neethu? Am I able to do so? Being able is just like being in Love. No one can tell you that you are able to, it’s just the own you have to fell through and through. Balls to bones. I asked Neethu, “Can you do one thing for me?” She chuckled and said, “Anything for you”. I looked down and told her, “Can you say I love you to your Grandpa for me?” She smiled again and pressed my cheek before shouting at her best, “Grandpa, grandma is saying I love you”. Neethu ran away. I was all ears to hear the reply as before, “Love you darling”, but I heard someone climbing the stairs, he is coming. Yes, I have to say him this time.